"But have you tried sports?"
"Sarah seem to really have benefited from cutting out gluten, maybe that's something for you?"
"I heard on this podcast that 30min sun exposure in the morning really changes your mood."
Ah, advice.
We have a wonderful saying in German: "Ratschläge sind auch Schläge", which translates to "Advices (Ratschläge) are also punches/beatings (Schläge).
Whenever I find myself tempted to give out platitudes of advice a lá "But have you tried XYZ?" I become very attentive.
It often means: Something in the person sitting opposite of me makes me want to, for example (1) act on my own helplessness, or (2) not take them seriously and offer lousy advice just to get them off my back.
The experience we have when we are the receiver of "advice" is often exactly that: We feel not being taken seriously. We still feel helpless.
Most of the time we don't really look for answers. We look for someone willing to sit in the trenches of our questions with us.
💬 Quote of the week: This might be my favourite quote from Jung on seeking advice and what to do instead.
“… The thing that can drive away the evil is always unique and hard to find. […] One is seeking something that is impossible to find or about which nothing is known. In such moments all well-meant, sensible advice is completely useless—advice that urges one to try to be responsible, to take a holiday, not to work so hard (or to work harder), to have more (or less) human contact, or to take up a hobby. None of that helps, or at best only rarely. There is only one thing that seems to work; and that is to turn directly toward the approaching darkness without prejudice and totally naively, and to try to find out what its secret aim is and what it wants from you.” - Man and his Symbols, Carl Jung
Best wishes,
Alina